Sex is Privilege…

On August 13, 2009, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

Most of us would agree that Ferraris, mansions, and yachts are reserved for the privileged.  How many of us however view sex as a privilege?  Elderly people who live in retirement homes rarely have sufficient privacy for sex .  People with disabilities are often told they are lucky to be alive so they shouldn’t even worry about sex.  And what about the members of our armed forces who so valiantly serve our country but are separated from their sexual partners for long periods of time.  Next time you see a homeless person give some thought as to what their sex life must be like.  I’m just saying, even if you don’t have a private jet, if you are having sex you may be more privileged than you ever gave yourself credit for.

Remember the song “I’m Too Sexy”? You know the one, “I’m too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts”…

Well, I never thought I’d say these words, but it’s official. I truly understand the burden of being too sexy…TOO SEXY FOR PRIMETIME, that is! We had our inaugural show last week and we were just too hot for prime time, so we’re movin on up. The Sex & Intimacy Show will now air live on Thursday’s at 10pm Mountain (9pm PDT/Midnight EDT).

Still Two Ways to Tune In…

1. The show will broadcast live on the Mile High Sports network in Denver Colorado *AM 1510* at 10pm Mountain Time.


2. Listeners from across the country and around the world can tune in live at 9pm PDT/midnight EDT on or click on the “listen here” link from our site

Clearly The Sex & Intimacy Show is still the edgy, fun and informative show where no question is off limits and no topic is taboo. Learn how to create sizzling sex and healthy relationships for a lifetime as Elaina and I provide an honest, entertaining and engaging approach to everybody’s favorite subject. The show is sex positive, relevant, and always full of humor and heart.

Want to be on the Show?

Call our toll free number and get your most important questions answered. 888.817.1510

The Sex & Intimacy Show * * Check us out!

Sadomasochists are no different than Ma & Pa Kettle…

On February 6, 2009, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1


psych-todayI had a record number of visits to my blog yesterday when I wrote about spanking. Since there was so much interest in the topic it seems that one good spanking deserves another.  There were four recent scientific studies conducted on the mental health of BDSM practitioners.  Each study found no evidence of psychopathology and there has never been a study that suggests anything to the contrary.  One study even found that BDSM practitioners have IQ’s that are 10 points higher than members of the general population.  Not only can BDSM be a healthy form of sexual expression between consenting adults, but as a group, those who participate may also be smarter than the average person. BDSM is a complex game of role-play and costumery requiring thought, communication skills and trust. Perhaps BDSM is to sex what chess is to checkers.  The kinksters may have just declared “checkmate!”

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A spanking good time…

On February 5, 2009, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

I had a client last week who loves to be spanked as foreplay.  Her husband is reluctant.  He wants to know why she wants to be spanked and is it normal.  The first thing we need to do is forget about why.  We don’t know why and it’s not important.  What is important is what you do with the desire for alternative forms of sexual expression and how you integrate them into your life and your relationship.  10% to 14% of Americans participate in BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism).  BDSM is not to be confused with violence and rage.  BDSM is a form of sexual role play between consenting adults.  If it feels good to both of you then I say go for it, Ricky.

Sex on the beach…

On February 3, 2009, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

207_jenniferkiel1One of the biggest challenges couples of all ages face is the use of what I call the two “killer words,” i.e., “always” and “never.” You always do this and you never do that!  Always and never are relationship killers because they don’t allow for growth and change.  I love this picture of two young newlyweds.  Partly because it is my son and his bride, both of whom I dearly love.  But also because this image is symbolic of love and intimacy when couples are walking forward instead of looking backwards.  Happy anniversary, kids!

Overcoming Sexual Shame…

On February 1, 2009, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

Guilt is feeling bad for what we did, i.e., “I had unprotected sex.”  Shame is feeling bad for who we are, i.e., “I’m a slut.”  Shame is that inner voice that says, “I’m not good enough.”  For many people shame becomes the core belief of who we are and eats away at the deepest part of our soul.  The roots of shame are often found in childhood events, a rigid religious upbringing, or traumatic events like rape.  For people who have been abused or traumatized there are often feelings of self blame, i.e., “It’s my fault.  I’m no good or I wouldn’t have been treated so badly.”  There is no cookie cutter formula for treating shame but overcoming it is possible and life changing.  If you feel bad about who you are, today might be a good day to start the healing process.  There is always hope, potential and possibility.  Sometimes we just need a little help to see the bright light shining at the end of the tunnel.

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Hanky Panky for Mommy & Daddy…

On January 30, 2009, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

Sexual desire is the number one concern people bring to my sex therapy practice.  One partner wants more and one partner wants less.  This is particularly true with new parents.  Mom’s hormones are running rampant after the birth of a child, the baby is screaming bloody murder, the new dad doesn’t know what to do, etc., etc.  I am pleased to say that there is a “must read” book just published on the subject written by my colleague and friend, Dr. Ian Kerner, author of “She Comes First.” Ian’s new book is called, “Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parents’ Guide to Getting it On Again”.  When the going gets tough, sex is the glue that holds relationships together.  Ian’s book may be the best relationship insurance policy that parents can buy!



It is 4 degrees below zero here in Denver tonight.  Yes kids, that’s Fahrenheit and that doesn’t account for wind chill.  The weather and a few sad clients remind me of just how many people become depressed from the cold short days and decreased sunshine.  There is no reimbursement code for “cabin fever”  so now the medical community calls it Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).  How’s that for a fitting acronym?  Kidding aside, the feelings of sadness are real and people who already struggle with low libidos are swimming against the tide.  So what’s a girl or guy to do?  The most common treatments are antidepressants, light therapy, and or psychotherapy.  Alternatively, a free organic approach that works for many people is to get sunshine when you can find it and sit next to a bright window.  Seek professional help if you need it and always remember that SAD is temporary because spring is on the way!                 

Fetishes are all good in Sweden…

On January 23, 2009, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

 Mental health professionals across the globe have a little known “secret code book” used to diagnose mental illness, i.e., depression, anxiety, etc.  In the US it is called the DSM while in Europe it is called the ICD.  Psychiatrists generally get paid by insurance companies and use the codes in this 6 pound, 800 page guerilla of a book to get reimbursed.  In other words unless you are diagnosed with a mental illness, the docs don’t get paid, hence there is a diagnosis for everything you can imagine and many you can’t.  Attitudes change over time and it used to be that the DSM classified homosexuality as a mental illness until 1973 when the DSM got changed and miraculously millions of homosexuals were “cured.”  Today, people involved in sexual behaviors that don’t conform to the norms of society can also be labeled as mentally ill, i.e., consenting adults who participate in sadomasochism, fetishism, etc.  This is a big deal because important matters like child custody cases can be effected if one of the parents has been diagnosed with a mental illness.  This month in Sweden however they took a giant step towards allowing consenting adults to make adult choices by eliminating six alternative forms of sexual expression from Sweden’s version of the ICD (i.e., sadomasochism, fetishism, and multiple disorders of sexual preferences).  Sexuality educators throughout the world are applauding Sweden for their global leadership towards creating a more sex positive planet.  Do we really want the government to decide which of our sexual behaviors are okay and which ones are an illness?  Not so much!  Cheers to the Swede’s.     

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New sexual attitudes in America…

On January 21, 2009, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

In light of the focus on politics this week this is just too cute to pass up.


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