Transgender Identity: Hearts not Parts!

I have been treating gender variant and queer clients since the days of the Harry Benjamin Society, now called WPATH (World Professional Association for Transgender Health).  I can’t recall anything as disturbing to support transgender health as a nation than what occurred this week.  Here is the WPATH position statement: For Immediate Release East Dundee, … Read more

Is this Your Year to Forgive & Forget?

  I have the honor of working with many people who have been abused physically, emotionally and or sexually.  Our culture teaches us to “forgive and forget” and in fact those who don’t are often shamed for not taking the high road.  Society says to forgive and forget, let bygones be bygones, and turn the … Read more

Kinky is NOT a Diagnosis…

Help make history by signing the DSM Revision Petition now! The diagnoses in the DSM-IV-TR still subject people who practice BDSM, fetishes and cross-dressing to bias, discrimination and social sanctions without any scientific basis. Sexual attitudes and behaviors change over time, i.e., it was only 100 years ago that masturbation was thought to cause blindness … Read more

Selecting a Therapist…

  Over the years I’ve had wonderful therapists and I’ve had awful therapists.  Most of my colleagues range from good to gifted.  Unfortunately, I also come across therapists that I wouldn’t let pet my cat, let alone work with one of my friends.  There is not a week that goes by that I am not … Read more

The Boney Finger of Blame…

We’ve all done it.  “If only my partner would do X, Y, or Z, our relationship would be so much better.”  With that in mind, I hope you enjoy the following story by Valerie Cox as much as I do… “A woman was waiting at an airport one night, With several long hours before her flight. … Read more

Thank Goodness for the Underwear Police…

  Last Thursday at a Georgia night club, partygoers decided to dance in their underwear. Thank goodness the Atlanta Police Department (APD) stepped in and saved the crowd of adult patrons from themselves by arresting them.  If not for APD, consenting adults might have seen each other in their underwear. Doesn’t JC Pennny spend millions … Read more

Former President to be Featured on The Sex & Intimacy Show…

She may not be Bill Clinton, but she is definitely one of the most important people in the field of sexuality.  Dr. Patti Britton is the Immediate Past President of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).  www.aasect.org. Past President’s of AASECT read like the “Who’s Who” of sexuality professionals.  AASECT is … Read more

Hard Days, Soft Nights… As men’s age goes up, some uncooperative penises go down.  As we age sex can often be different.  Not necessarily better or worse, just different.  I had an older couple in my office today who are learning to redefine what sex looks like for them as they age.  I couldn’t help … Read more

APA Says Gays Don’t Need to be Fixed…

  Sending gays to therapy to become “un-gay” has been a hotly debated topic within the mental health community for many years.  One school of thought (from a very tiny school with even smaller thoughts) is that homosexuality is a mental illness and that gays should undergo “reparative therapy” in order to become heterosexual.  The … Read more

Therapy Without Shame…

Judgemental therapists give me a headache.  Most therapists are compassionate, skilled, emapthic, loving, kind, supportive and nurturing.  Several times per year however, including today, a new client sadly told me they were judged by their former therapist because said therapist wasn’t comfortable with the client’s sexual practices.  That is maddening to me!  As a member of the helping professions our vary ethos … Read more