A couple of years ago I was counseling a delightful young couple who unfortunately fought incessantly. I quickly came to learn that a key component of their communication style was sarcasm. He was toxically sarcastic and she enabled him to do so. When the sarcasm went away, so too did their troubles. The difference between good natured teasing and sarcasm lies in the intent. In its simplest form the intention behind sarcasm is generally a veiled attempt to utilize humor to ask for what we want. In some cases sarcasm is a cry for help when we feel like we are being ignored. For others it is simply what they saw their parents do. People who live with a sarcastic partner often think it is no big deal however when we peel back the emotional onion we almost always find that the sarcastic message feels hurtful and chips away at the soul of a relationship. Like so many things in life, happiness flourishes as we learn to be increasingly conscious of our thoughts, feelings, intentions and behaviors. Learning to communicate lovingly is a great way for couples to gain more sex and intimacy in their relationship. www.doctorcannon.com
