Recovering from infidelity…

Yesterday shined a spotlight for me on the process required to heal from infidelity.  I had a couple in my office that was in week 14 of therapy following an affair.  Three months earlier this couple was on the verge of divorce.  Neither party wanted to be in therapy and in fact after the first session the couple was so mad at each other I wasn’t certain if they would actually come back.  This week when I saw them they had grown to the point that they are closer and more intimate than ever.  They are looking forward and dreaming about the future.  Fast forwarding to the same leather couch in my office two hours later I was working with a different couple who was in week 2 of a similar situation.  The anger was raw.  The mistrust rampant.  Shame and guilt filled the room.  Divorce was on the table.  It was difficult for the second couple to see any glimmer of hope.  The major difference between the two couples of course is where they are in the process.  There is a myth that couples cannot recover from affairs.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  As demonstrated by the first couple, an affair can actually act as a catalyst to enhance communication, love, sex and intimacy.  The one thing we know about people who are willing to make the effort and fight through the pain is that there is always hope, possibility and potential.   

2 thoughts on “Recovering from infidelity…”

  1. Nice post Doctor.
    I got a qoute from Hillary clinton and to qoute “There are worse things than infidelity” and I agree but this is not something we shouldnt neglect. If ever I will be a victim of infidelity, I knwo it would be hard but I believe that living well is the best revenge.


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