Countless couples come to me on the verge of divorce. The last two weeks were particularly difficult for me to see so many nice people in so much pain. By the time they get to me, there is often much unresolved anger, a lack of trust, no empathy and an overall sense of hopelessness. If the couple is in love and are at least willing to explore the option of remaining married, then I say damn the torpedos and full speed ahead. Some of the best relationships have been built from the ashes of broken hearts. No matter how bad it seems, no matter who has done what to whom, there is always hope. I tell my clients that I will often fight for their marriage longer than they will. Until my client says “stop” I’m focused on solutions and possibilities. It’s not easy work for the couples and it can get intense, but it’s worth the effort. At worst, a couple who fully engages with a good counselor will never be able to look back with regrets for not making the effort. In these tough economic times, I often hear couples say they can’t afford therapy, to which I respond, “then you certainly can’t afford divorce.” If you are on the brink of divorce, just remember one thing: You can always get divorced, but once you get divorced you can’t un-ring the bell. www.doctorcannon.com
Rock on Dr. Neil. I totally agree with you. People forget the reasons they got together in the first place and only think about the reasons why they shouldn’t be together. Relationships are work. Everyone needs to stop being lazy and start working for what they want!