Is this Your Year to Forgive & Forget?

On January 1, 2010, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

 

I have the honor of working with many people who have been abused physically, emotionally and or sexually.  Our culture teaches us to “forgive and forget” and in fact those who don’t are often shamed for not taking the high road.  Society says to forgive and forget, let bygones be bygones, and turn the other cheek.  For people who have been abused or traumatized, forgiving isn’t necessarily the answer.  The truth is you can choose to accept what has happened but you don’t have to forgive whoever has harmed you unless you so choose to.  Forgiving is a very personal choice not to be influenced by what you think you “should” do.  There is no shame in accepting what has happened without forgiving the perpetrator.  The power comes when you can make your reaction to what happened be a choice.  That’s the difference between being a victim and being a survivor.

The Cat in the Hat Smells a Rat…

On August 15, 2009, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

 

I heard about this unbelievable “Kitty Porn” story from a colleague.  Frankly however, I was afraid to follow-up because I didn’t want to Google “Kitty Porn” and innocently get caught up in an FBI sting where the good guys were trying to catch the bad guys.  That said I knew this story was the cat’s meow so I took the risk and now the cat is out of the bag.  There is a sex offender (SO) in Florida.  He got busted by the FBI who found over 1000 images of child porn on the SO’s computer.  But here’s the gem of all defenses.  The alleged SO claimed his cat jumped on his key board and downloaded the porn.  Yes, the SO claimed the kitty was responsible for all 1000 pictures of kiddy porn.  Personally, I think this guy is lion.  Furthermore, when the investigatoin is complete I bet they find this guy has a long history of dogs eating his homework!

Sexual Athleticism…

On August 13, 2009, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

LoraePortrait

Tonight on The Sex & Intimacy Show our special guest is Lorae.  Like Tiger and Elvis, Lorae is so hot she only needs a one word name!  Lorae is a sacred-sexuality educator who coaches men to be “enlightened lovers.” Her method mixes ancient practices like Tantra and Taoism with the latest western medical and scientific discoveries — and she does it in a way that’s practical, fun, and extraordinarily sexy.  According to Lorae, being an accomplished lover is like being a pro athlete — you need to learn the fundamentals from experts, develop your skills, have intense desire and drive, then  practice, practice, practice. I don’t know about you, but it sounds a lot more fun than Broncos training camp this week!  www.sexandintimacyshow.com

Therapy Without Shame…

On July 28, 2009, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

headacheJudgemental therapists give me a headache.  Most therapists are compassionate, skilled, emapthic, loving, kind, supportive and nurturing.  Several times per year however, including today, a new client sadly told me they were judged by their former therapist because said therapist wasn’t comfortable with the client’s sexual practices.  That is maddening to me!  As a member of the helping professions our vary ethos is to “first do no harm.”  Fortunately, just when my gaskets were about to blow, a dear friend sent me this lovely quote from one of our former professors.  The following quote from Dr. Epp reminded me of just how many extraordinary people there are in our field, when she said:  “I am a sexologist and that means I’ve given my life to the scientific study of organized information about sex.  Just as I wouldn’t judge daisies over roses if  I were a botanist, I don’t judge sexual behaviors.”  ~ Janice Epp, PhD — You go, girl.  BTW: Dr. Charles Moser wrote a book entitled Health Care Without Shame.  His book is difficult to obtain these days, however our health care system would be a kinder, gentler place if Moser’s book was required reading for all health care professionals.

Better holiday sex starts in the kitchen…

On December 23, 2008, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

 

 

I remember standing in the kitchen during the holidays when I was a little boy while three generations of Cannon women were cooking Christmas dinner.  I recall asking my mom why she was cutting off the ends off the roast before placing it in the oven.  She lovingly told me it was part of her mother’s recipe and that’s what made it special.  So I asked her mom, my Grandmother Exie why she cut off the ends of the roast.   Grandma Exie told me it was part of her mother’s recipe and that’s what made it taste so good.  So I asked her mom, my great grandmother Mimi why she cut off the ends of the roast.  Great Grandma Mimi looked at me with a funny expression and said, I used to cut off the end of the roasts because my old oven was so small.  Not to be a buzz kill during the holidays,  but 45% of first marriages end in divorce, 65% of second marriages end in divorce and 75% of 3rd marriages end in divorce.  The reason for the same people getting divorced repeatedly is that they keep behaving the same way with different partners.  The couples I see in my practice who respond best to therapy become highly conscious of their patterns and break old behaviors that aren’t working.  The happiest couples tend to look for new ways to do things, new ways to love their partner, new ways to increase intimacy and above all else,  new ways to grow together as a couple. Cheers!  www.doctorcannon.com

 

Early ejaculation…

On October 9, 2008, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

Many men experience early ejaculation and it is hardly surprising when we think about it.  We are a time sensitive culture that wants instant gratification, fast food, and movies on demand.  Men that talk fast and eat fast, often come fast as well.  Being quick and efficient may be the very strength that makes you effective at work however it may not be getting you what you want in bed.  Coming more quickly than the man or his partner wants can be the cause of fear, anxiety and shame.  The great news is that early ejaculation is easily treatable.  To find a certified sex therapist in your area simply go the Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists at www.aasect.org.  

Am I normal?

On October 6, 2008, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

A frequent question I hear in my office is “Am I normal?”  My response is to try a different question, i.e., am I happy?  For many people letting go of worries about normality is a giant step toward internal peace and happiness.  Remember too that being normal isn’t all that it is cracked up to be.  Albert Einstien was hardly normal and the world would be a different place without his genius.

Tagged with: