Therapy Without Shame…

On July 28, 2009, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

headacheJudgemental therapists give me a headache.  Most therapists are compassionate, skilled, emapthic, loving, kind, supportive and nurturing.  Several times per year however, including today, a new client sadly told me they were judged by their former therapist because said therapist wasn’t comfortable with the client’s sexual practices.  That is maddening to me!  As a member of the helping professions our vary ethos is to “first do no harm.”  Fortunately, just when my gaskets were about to blow, a dear friend sent me this lovely quote from one of our former professors.  The following quote from Dr. Epp reminded me of just how many extraordinary people there are in our field, when she said:  “I am a sexologist and that means I’ve given my life to the scientific study of organized information about sex.  Just as I wouldn’t judge daisies over roses if  I were a botanist, I don’t judge sexual behaviors.”  ~ Janice Epp, PhD — You go, girl.  BTW: Dr. Charles Moser wrote a book entitled Health Care Without Shame.  His book is difficult to obtain these days, however our health care system would be a kinder, gentler place if Moser’s book was required reading for all health care professionals.

My 52nd Birthday…

On January 17, 2009, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

 

As I turned 52 tonight I couldn’t help but think about what I really wanted for my birthday and it hit me — Unconditional love and friendship.  As I had dinner at a lovely restaurant with two friends, Dave and Pam, I realized that my birthday wish had come true. These are not just friends, but life-long friends, dear friends.  We have survived Dave’s cancer and a multitude of other difficult issues together.  We have traveled the country together, loved together and cried together.  Dave’s sister recently married her wife in San Francisco.  One of Pam’s two wonderful sons is gay.  Our server tonight just so happened to be a wonderfully sweet lesbian woman who overheard our conversation and thankfully joined in.  And me, I’m passionate about making the world a more sex positive place and creating equality for sexual minorities.  It was a love fest!  What more could a sex therapist want?  We had one of those rare and deep conversations that goes beyond small talk. It was about being real.  I wouldn’t trade tonight for a winning lotto ticket.  All I can say is thank you my friends and happy birthday to capricorns everywhere.  www.doctorcannon.com

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Better holiday sex starts in the kitchen…

On December 23, 2008, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

 

 

I remember standing in the kitchen during the holidays when I was a little boy while three generations of Cannon women were cooking Christmas dinner.  I recall asking my mom why she was cutting off the ends off the roast before placing it in the oven.  She lovingly told me it was part of her mother’s recipe and that’s what made it special.  So I asked her mom, my Grandmother Exie why she cut off the ends of the roast.   Grandma Exie told me it was part of her mother’s recipe and that’s what made it taste so good.  So I asked her mom, my great grandmother Mimi why she cut off the ends of the roast.  Great Grandma Mimi looked at me with a funny expression and said, I used to cut off the end of the roasts because my old oven was so small.  Not to be a buzz kill during the holidays,  but 45% of first marriages end in divorce, 65% of second marriages end in divorce and 75% of 3rd marriages end in divorce.  The reason for the same people getting divorced repeatedly is that they keep behaving the same way with different partners.  The couples I see in my practice who respond best to therapy become highly conscious of their patterns and break old behaviors that aren’t working.  The happiest couples tend to look for new ways to do things, new ways to love their partner, new ways to increase intimacy and above all else,  new ways to grow together as a couple. Cheers!  www.doctorcannon.com

 

A Mother’s love…

On November 13, 2008, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

I have a wonderful mother and adult daughter that I have been working with.  They gave me permission to share this story.  18 months ago the daughter suffered a terrible tragedy, which of course means the mother is hurting deeply as well.  When the adult daughter was a little girl she had a pet hamster.  The hamster suddenly became ill while mom was “babysitting” it.  Although no autopsy was performed and CSI wasn’t called, it seems the hamster went into cardiac arrest.  When mom saw the little hamster on its’ back, she was so concerned for her daughter’s feelings that she responded immediately by giving the hamster CPR.  Mom breathed into the hamster’s little mouth and pumped her fingers on the pet’s little chest.  This is an image that has given me many smiles since I heard the story.  The beauty in the story of course far exceeds the comical image.  The strength of both women is so impressive.  These amazing women have proven that there is always hope and that anything is possible, particularly when a family is graced by deep roots that have grown from a mother’s love!  www.doctorcannon.com

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