Halloween is the ultimate adult holiday…

On October 31, 2008, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1


Halloween is a wonderful time for couples to be creative, add spice to your love life and break old sexual patterns.  This is your chance to be a pirate or a wench; a stern master or a sexy love slave; a superhero; or perhaps you would like to be a member of the majestic court.  Whatever your fantasy, this is the one day where our culture gives the “big kids” permission to be unabashedly playful.  Halloween is also a nice opportunity to share your fantasies with your lover and build intimacy.  Tonight is your night to think outside the box and let your imagination run wild.  Have fun, Matey! www.doctorcannon.com

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Your RX for more sex…

On October 26, 2008, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1


The stock market has fallen by almost half in the past 15 months and the market isn’t all that’s down. That’s right, difficult economic times are affecting sex and intimacy.  How can it not?  Many clients are asking what they should do.  There is no simple answer however here are some thoughts.  First, try to focus on what you have, not what you have lost.  Second, this is the perfect time for couples to share their deepest feelings as a way to build intimacy.  A good discussion starter is to tell your partner what you feel sad about, what you are mad about, what you are afraid of and what you are thankful for.  What are your dreams for the future?  Couples that dream together stay together!  Finally, and here is the really good part of your prescription.  Have sex at least one time per day or PRN (as often needed)!  Sex is free and sex is fun.  Can’t hurt, might help!


Why do I like Sex Y & Z…

On October 23, 2008, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

A common question I hear is “why”.  Why do I get turned on by this?  Why does he want me to do that?  We can explore causation and it is certainly natural to wonder however what I try to help people focus on is the “what” rather than the “why.”.  The why is interesting to understand and sometimes therapeutically necessary as well, however the what is generally more productive.  Things happen and at the end of the day it is our reaction to those events that make the difference in the quality of life. Why something is what it is tends to keep us stuck in the past while thinking about what we are going to do about it allows us to create the future. 

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Compromise sounds nice on the surface, but…

On October 21, 2008, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1


For a long and happy marriage, compromise can cause as much pain as pleasure.  Compromise by couples is a noble effort that is unfortunately often frat with problems that can lead to resentment.  The book, “The New Rules of Marriage” says it nicely.  “No matter how hard you may try to take the high road, the discrepancy between the marriage you want and the one you’ve got can gnaw away at you like a slow-growing cancer.  When you back away from your real needs, when you stop telling the truth – to your partner and yourself – you shut down…when you shut down the truth, you shut down yourself – your generosity, your sexuality, and your vitality.”  Although it is not always easy, I encourage couples to compromise with caution and communicate deeply about their respective needs, wants, desires and dreams.

The caveman cometh…

On October 13, 2008, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

One more thought about early ejaculation in response to my last post.  If we look at early ejaculation in a prehistoric context it makes sense that men ejaculate quickly.  Cavemen were actually at great risk when they had sex.  During sex man was extremely vulnerable to attack by his enemies so the faster he ejaculated during intercourse the safer he was.  Perhaps rapid ejaculators are the strongest of the human species! Perhaps only the rapid ejaculators successfully procreated and survived!   


Early ejaculation…

On October 9, 2008, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

Many men experience early ejaculation and it is hardly surprising when we think about it.  We are a time sensitive culture that wants instant gratification, fast food, and movies on demand.  Men that talk fast and eat fast, often come fast as well.  Being quick and efficient may be the very strength that makes you effective at work however it may not be getting you what you want in bed.  Coming more quickly than the man or his partner wants can be the cause of fear, anxiety and shame.  The great news is that early ejaculation is easily treatable.  To find a certified sex therapist in your area simply go the Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists at www.aasect.org.  

Am I normal?

On October 6, 2008, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

A frequent question I hear in my office is “Am I normal?”  My response is to try a different question, i.e., am I happy?  For many people letting go of worries about normality is a giant step toward internal peace and happiness.  Remember too that being normal isn’t all that it is cracked up to be.  Albert Einstien was hardly normal and the world would be a different place without his genius.

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Sex on the wrong side of the tracks…

On October 3, 2008, in Uncategorized, by drneilcannon1

One way for couples to spice things up is to have sex in unusual places, afterall variety is the spice of life.  The kitchen table or on a blanket under the stars are all good ideas.  Well, last week a couple in South Africa added spice up their relationship by having sex on a railroad track (not my idea!).  Not surprisingly where there are railroad tracks, there are these massive fast moving vehicles called trains!  Unfortunately this couple was killed in a manner that was about as gruesome as one can imagine.  If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times: Practice safer sex, no sex in front of grandma, and most importantly please, no sex in front of a 700 ton locomotive!

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